Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hi...

Hi. I know I have been silent for a while. I wish I could tell you that it’s because of a mountain of work that I have to get through (although that is true – this is always a busy time for me because of year-end reviews). I wish I could tell you that the holidays are filling all my free time with errands (although, this too, is true…especially since I decided to make my gifts this year). I even wish I could tell you that I have blogging burn-out (this friends, is absolutely not true – my blog in my happy place, and it is here that I escape when I’m burnt out).

But I have some sad news. My cousin passed away. I guess, there is no graceful, lyrical way to say that…and if there is, I don’t feel like searching for it just now. I debated even posting about it. But to come back here with just another post, gabbing about this or that going into my market basket or coming out of my oven…it just didn’t sit right with me.

As this left its mark on me, it will also leave its mark on this blog. Fancy words escape me now. It was a car accident. He had just turned 18. He was an artist. He liked to wear black. He had a sunny smile and the cheeriest voice. He saw the extraordinary in the ordinary…in things, and as I am only starting to realize in retrospect, in people too. He had curly hair…the blessing/curse of many in my family. He had a twinkle in his eye. He marched to the beat of his own drummer. He had more talent then I ever knew.

He is in a better place now…hopefully with lots of spray paint and unlimited canvases. We, meanwhile, remain, to hold each other tight this Christmas. This Christmas, my longing to be close to family is stronger then ever. They are my comfort. We are our comfort.

I find comfort too in doing what I like doing…cooking and going to the market. So that has not stopped. And I hope to tell you all about that soon enough.

Until then…

Please give someone in your family a hug today. They may need it. And it is the holidays after all…

And M, if this post finds its way through to the divine radar…your manang joey sends you a big hug and wishes you a Merry Christmas!

44 comments:

running with tweezers said...

joey-

i am so sorry to hear about your loss. believe me, i know all too well about how - when faced with something like this - the words don't come easily. they will when the time is right.

take comfort in the fact that the blog world out there is thinking about you and sending you warm thoughts during this tough time and the holidays. it will be bring you some margin of joy.

please take care and know i am thinking of you.

- tami

Dhanggit said...

here is my warm hug from here to you..cheer up :-)

Manggy said...

Hi joey,
I'm sorry for your loss. I hadn't lost someone actually close to me until this last year: I never thought I could experience such crushing pain. I hope you experience sufficient comfort in the embrace of your family.

Cenk/Cafe Fernando said...

Very sorry to hear about our loss :(
My best wishes...

Aria said...

hi joey, so sorry to hear of your cousin. my thoughts are with you.

[[hugs]]

Suzana said...

Joey,

So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family - I hope you can find some comfort in the little things and all the good memories you keep.

A very warm hug to you

Ruy said...

My prayers go out to your cousin and all of you whom he left with beautiful memories of his talented life.
May you find a measure of comfort in knowing we are with you, praying for your healing from the pain of the sudden loss.

Be well.

Pille said...

Dear Joey - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin in such a young age. We must all hope he's in a better, happier and brighter (and yes, more artistic:) place now...
Hugs.
pxx

The Knittymommy said...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Like you said, he's in a better place now. He'll be watching over you now, his Manang Joey.

Veron said...

Joey, sweetie...I am so sorry for your loss. And I am sure your cousin M is in a happy place indeed with his spray paint and unlimited canvas. When you see a lovely sunset or sunrise painted across the sky you will know it will be a message from him yes he is home.

maybahay said...

my prayers and warm thoughts are with you. keep cooking and keep strong.

Anh said...

Joey,

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope time will heal the pains you and your family are having right now... Take good care.

Bron said...

Joey,
I'm so sorry for your loss, take care of those precious memories.
Lots of hugs and blessings
Bron

Dee said...

so sorry for your loss..

Kalyn said...

So sorry to hear about this tragedy. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Gretchen Noelle said...

I am sorry for your loss, especially at a time like this. Thank you for your "realness." Praying for you and your family.

Peabody said...

Very sorry for your loss.

zeph said...

I'm sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family in this difficult time.

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

I'm ever so sorry to hear that... In thoughts with you, take care and best wishes!

Hugs,

Rosa

Ipshi said...

True and simple words are the ones that touch the heart the most. You, without even knowing it, are a master at it. You paint a picture of your cousin so well, and we all want to reach out and hug you. You're right about him now having an eternity to use his creativity. May God take care of his soul, you and your family. We are all praying for you.

Patricia Scarpin said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, sweetie. Take your time to get it together.

Big hugs,
Patricia.

Freya and Paul said...

Tami is completely right, we are all thinking of you and sending you and your family comfort and hope for the forthcoming Christmas.
All our best, Freya and Paul

Thess said...

oh dear joey...i'm so sorry to hear about this...

hugs from holland...be well.

Marvin said...

joey, my condolences go to you and your family. i'm very sorry for your loss.

Jen Tan said...

joey...I am so saddened with the news...the way you wrote about him...it's just so sad...he was so young..so talented...so many things..I am so sorry for you and your family. My sincerest condolences.

hope you and your family are ok...
though I know its really hard to be.

please do take care...my prayers are with you and your cousin.

christine said...

That was a nice post, Jo. Simple yet poignant. It was such a shocker, still is, but God has other plans for M. :) You know where to find me if you need me. Big hug!

ChichaJo said...

Hello Everyone: Thank you so much for all your comments, best wishes, prayers, hugs, and warm thoughts...I am supremely touched by your concern and kindness. Blogging and all of you "out there" remain a constant source of joy, inspiration, and pleasant surprises...Thank you all

Em Dy said...

Before I read this post, I was very frustrated at someone because of something I'd rather not talk about. Your post made me think that I should let go of the hurt and move on. And that that someone deserves a hug. After all, what happened today is miniscule to everything good that happened between us. Blogging also relaxes me and in this case, calms my nerves and inspires me. Thanks, Joey.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss but I know that though these days seem difficult, in time everything will be all right.

Take care.

spanx said...

joey,


years ago, my cousin techie died in a car crash when she was just 15. it was on the second of january of that year.


God knows why these accidents happen, specially during the holidays, but perhaps the best thing i can tell you is:


your cousin will live on in the hearts of your family, just like our techie does to this day ",)

Rasa Malaysia said...

I am sorry to hear that Joey...my deepest condolence for the loss.

MyKitchenInHalfCups said...

Joey your words seem just perfect and this seems a very wonderful tribute to a dear one. I'm so sorry for the loss. Sometimes difficult maybe always difficult to see loss as part of the process of life but it is part of it even though it hurts. I wish you and the ones you hold dear a merry Christmas.

Nupur said...

I'm sorry to hear this. A young life snatched away...my thoughts go out to you and your family.

docchef said...

not only family members need hug, even friends and acquaintances need them too.. so .. hug:)

katiez said...

I'm so sorry! How terrible, sad, awful...
I'll be thinking warm thoughts and hugs for all of you..

creampuff said...

Joey,

My heart goes out to you and your family! Be strong - I'm sending you a big hug.

canDIshhh said...

Manang Joey - I'm so sorry to hear this and I am so sorry to have just read about this now.

My deepest condolences.

Believe that M is in a better place and watching over you.

Tartelette said...

I'd be happy to think he is creating beautiful things next to my own brother right now.
Don't worry about us and know that we are thinking of you.

Katrina said...

Oh, Joey. :-( I just read this now, and I am SO sorry that I didn't sooner.

My heart goes out to you and your family. To lose someone close to you, and at such a young age, at that...I simply cannot imagine how that must feel.

I know it must be difficult to enjoy the typical festive and frenzied Filipino Christmas when you are mourning, but it only means that we will treasure all the more sharing this special time with our loved ones.

If you need anything, you know how to reach me. :-)

Meeta said...

So sorry to hear about your loss Joey. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Huge hug to you!

junemoon said...

I am sorry for your loss of a dear loved one and am sending my sympathy and compassion in this comment.

I appreciate that you have chosen to share your grief on your blog and I believe your choice is a good one. I enjoy your blog and stop by regularly. junemoon

Lynnylu said...

Bless you in your time of sorrow.

kiersten said...

joey,

i'm so sorry.

kiersten (another daring baker)

SteamyKitchen said...

Oh baby, I just read this. A super big hug to you and in my prayers tonight I'll send over some new paints for M to play with and ask my Grandma to bring over some homemade soup for M as well.

love, jaden

Candygirl said...

hi,

just read this today...your words touched me as this is the second holiday since my mom's passing.

i also send you warm hugs.

:-) candy